Life's Onward Journey...

This December... ...forget everything. Remember revenge...only. Thats what the first look/trailer of Ghajini says. I was quite excited to see this movie till a few days back. And then i saw Memento. Ghajini (whatever that means) is supposed to be inspired from Memento, which is one of the best movies I have seen so far. And I think it is impossible to make anything that can match it. I am a little apprehensive about Ghajini. I hope AK creates magic once again. His last release, Taare Zameen Par has raised the hopes of all his fans. I hope this one doesn't add to the Mangal Pandeys and Fanaas . 25th December. First show...I will be there. :)

A lamp made by my 'artist' buddy Me and my buddy Me and my piece of art

Organized junk I am just drying them yaar... The table where i hardly sit and study (the flowers have a story though)

I was waiting for my train at Kassel station. It was a sunday evening and the platform was so crowded that I felt as if i was standing at Churchgate station. It was time to say good-bye to Shubha whom I had met after 8 years. We were talking the usual stuff which friends talk at such moments. Call me once you reach. Take care of yourself. Hope we meet again soon... etc. Standing next to us was a couple hugging tightly. The guy was quite tall and well built. I don't remember how he looked. It was the girl's face which caught my attention. It had some weird kind of sadness on it. It disturbed me. They stood still in this pose for as long as they were together. When I told Shubha what I felt she replied saying it is sunday evening and she must be leaving for another city for work/college after spending the weekend with her boyfriend. She added jokingly, that Germans are not as emotional as us Indians and that she will return to her normal self as soon as she hops into the train. S...

I turn back to see if they are still following me. They are. Without thinking twice I enter into the first open door I see, desperately trying to hide myself. The small box-like room turns out to be a public toilet. How long will I have to stay in here? I can now hear them approaching. Through a small opening in the door I can see the bearded man enquiring about a girl wearing green dress that is me. I notice that from under the door my feet could be easily seen. I try and climb on the water pipe which runs along the wall. But then I have to bend myself so that nobody can notice my head from over the door. I don't know for how long I stayed in that uncomfortable position. Slowly I open the door and run in the opposite direction. It is not safe to walk in the open street without any guard. After running and walking a good bit of distance I enter into another door. This one is a parlour, a very dirty one, with an open drain running through it. All the seats are occupied. I see some p...

"I am the root cause of any problem, mental or physical, suffered by me. And only I can cure myself." I have been thinking deeply about my life experiences, what kind of a person I am and why do I get into difficult situations. I have found a few answers myself with a little help from a friend or two.

Last monsoon I got an umbrella as a gift. Lilac in colour. Foldable to almost-pocket size. But it seemed a little too delicate for the gusty winds coming from the sea-side. I decided that I won't use that umbrella here in Mumbai and kept it safely in my cupboard. I wanted to possess it forever, even if that meant keeping it as a show-piece in my drawing room. One day when somebody had borrowed my other in-use umbrella I had to take this one out. I had hardly walked 50 steps when I saw an accident happening in front of my eyes. A car had hit somebody. Out of shock the grip on my umbrella loosened and I ran towards the site of accident. It was a friend. Luckily she didn't get hurt badly. Next I noticed that my umbrella had flew to a distance. I ran and grabbed it. It was torn. I started cursing myself, "Why did I take it out today?" The new umbrella, now damaged, was kept back in the same cupboard. I got another umbrella towards the end of last monsoon. Thought it would...

Bachna Ae Haseeno deals with an issue which means nothing to an activist or an industrialist or an environmentalist or for that matter anybody. It is not even an entertainer. But still it teaches a few lessons. The meaning of love and companionship changes as we age. It is different when you are a 15 year old school going teenager and when you are a 30 year old single. The male protagonist Raj meets 3 women in 12 years and the movie is about his story with each of these women. He breaks the heart of 2 of these women and the third one manages to break the heart of this heart-breaker. It is then that he realizes what he has been doing all his life. May be Mahi and Gayatri were only 2 of the several women he came across. He decides to ask for forgiveness from the two women and manages to do that too. And, somehow magically his goodness is rewarded by a change of heart of the third woman, who runs into his arms and the movie ends with a kiss and a sunset in the background. Quite nice! R...

I remember this hymn we used to sing in school. It is very appropriate for this occasion. Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high. Into that heaven of freedom, my father, let my country awake. Where knowledge is free. Into that heaven... Where the world has not been broken up, into fragments by narrow domestic walls. Into that heaven... Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection. Into that heaven of freedom my father, LET MY COUNTRY AWAKE! -Rabindranath Tagore

Ten days and zero posts. What does that mean? Firstly, general frustration and restlessness has decreased a little. So, there was hardly anything to vent out. And secondly, I have been busy with 'real' work this week and didn't get time for blogging. It is not by chance that I am feeling better and focussing on things which need my attention. I managed to grab some inspiration from different sources. One of those is special. I cannot express my gratitude in words. And specially not here on my blog. Thanks A. I will do it! I started working on the document which will end this phase of my life. (No, it is not a suicide note!). Till now I am liking it. It will be my child, my creation... Apart from that, time was spent in some other things too. Went for lunch at a colleagues place. (I love train-travelling sans the crowd). Had a farewell dinner with 2 of my close friends at my favourite place. Saw a movie ( Dus Kahaniyan ) and liked it. 3 of the stories were disappointing. I r...

As I am getting older, the memories of childhood are becoming more and more dear to me. There are some bitter memories (which I am not interested in discussing) and there are many sweet memories. I have been reading "Kaghazi hai pairahan", an autobiography of Ismat Chughtai these days. In the current chapter she is visiting her phoophi ( father's sister ). The description of the home and the ambiance reminded me of my grand-father's home at Bhagalpur, Bihar. We used to visit there every year during our summer vacation. Two of my phoophis and chhote abbu (father's brother) used to stay there too. So, in all we were 7 kids. If the timing was good then 2 other cousins from Patna would join us. There were fights as well as fun. I remember once we organized a cultural evening with a short skit and some song and dance too. I don't remember my contribution though. Bhagalpur was a little (actually more than a little) short on electricity. And that compelled all of ...

दो दिन, दो शहर। बीस से ज़्यादा बम धमाके, कितने घायल हुए? गिनती नहीं। कितने मरे? मालूम नहीं। हाँ ये ज़रूर मालूम है, की मरने वालों की तादाद, अख़बारों में लिखी संख्याओं से कहीं ज़्यादा है। बम लगाने वाले, उनसे मरने वालों से पहले मरे। ग़म है मुझे उन लाशों के पैदा होने का जो बेगुनाह थे, और नफरत है उन लाशों से, जो कफ़न के बाहर जिंदा घूम रही हैं ऐसे हालात पैदा करने के लिए।

The major cytokine which signals helper T cells to proliferate is Interleukin 2 (IL-2). This cytokine is released by helper T cells themselves and these cells also bear the receptors for IL-2. It is remarkable that to some extent, helper T cells themselves control their own proliferation rate. The more IL-2 they produce, more of it binds to their surface and the downstream signaling causes them to proliferate and produce more IL-2. I love Immunology. However, the purpose of writing the above lines was not to give a lesson on T cell biology. The power to drive our lives, lies within ourselves. May be not always, but often. (I should be saying all this to myself.) :) Next time I am feeling low, I will read my own blog for inspiration. I remember discussing with a friend about one of our common friends, " ABC is the person i turn to when i need some advice. He/She makes all my problems seem so small. But, when it comes to dealing with his/her own problems, he/she behaves impu...

Dil hai to dhadakne ka bahaana koi dhoonde, Patthar ki tarah behis-o-bejaan sa kyun hai... Kya koi nayi baat nazar aati hai hum mein, Aaina humein dekh kar hairaan sa kyun hai... Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun hai. Don't know what is happening to me. Whole of last week I hardly did anything constructive. Oh yes, I spent some time in analysing the data on wednesday and thursday. And on friday i did finish the sketch i had been making since past few days. But still I dont feel enthusiasm in myself. Or may be I have been like this forever. And since I am required to be 'highly motivated' and 'competent' at this juncture of life, I am realizing my own shortcomings. Or may be I am not enthusiastic about the current work and current state of my life. The present is full of disappointments and depression. And there is hardly anything to look forward to. Its high time that I become my own inspiration. How long can one wait for an "external source of insp...

Chappa chappa charkha chale Courtyard- Bapu's cottage Khus and a squirrel Sabarmati Ashram Bapu said... The entire group (with me behind the camera) Chalo re doli uthao kahaar... Framed Pair 1: Khus and me Pair 2: Sudarsan and me Pair 3: Kapil and me Pair 4: Binny and me Now, lets all pair up... Kathputliyan... Gujju Thaali...Khao khao Arey itna khaane ko kisne bola tha? To each his own... Vau-Adalaj Kidhar jaana hai bhai? Sarkhej Roza- The corridor ye kya jagah hain doston... Agle janam mohe bitiya hi keejo Who's that girl? Bachcha-log

Rockstar--Mumble-bee and his first fan DJ Hari Lal and DJ reading their fav column in Mumbai Mirror :) Hari and DJ: comparatively sober DJ and me Hari and me

In one of the earlier posts I had mentioned a review article published in Science recently (Emily Pronin et al ). The paper discusses ongoing research in Human Psychology about how differently we think about ourselves compared to how we think about others. The approach we take while judging others is completely different from the approach we take to understand ourselves. When it is about others, we lay more stress on the inputs we get from our senses (visual and hearing) and we are completely unaware of the other person's inner thoughts. And when it comes to judging ourselves we have access to our innermost thoughts and at the same time we forget about our actual actions (as seen by others). In the former it is an extrospective approach whereas in the latter it is introsepctive. In both the situations we do not have access to the complete information which might explain an action or decision or a situation. It is this incomplete information which becomes the basis of our inter-per...

Yoonhi nahi dil lubhata koi! Saw Jaane Tu... last friday. I was quite enthusiastic to see this movie. Two most important reasons were the producer of the movie and the claim made by publicists that this movie is the new-age Dil Chahta Hai . I didn't have unrealistic expectation from the movie when it began. But as the first half progressed I became more and more curious to see the problem-solving second half of the movie. It was then that I felt disappointed. The second half was too silly for several reasons. The "Ranjhore ke Rathore" thing was overdone. The dream and the interpretation will be seen in any or all spoofs directed towards this movie. The transport strike and the compulsion to ride a horse and reach the airport. And the innovative route to go to the airport via Asiatic library and Flora fountain. The end was so predictable. We have seen so many movies ending in similar fashion at the airport. Why add one more to that list? It was a pleasant surprise to see...

Recently I got to know the list of things which stimulate me most and turn on the sneeze-button. My mast cells start releasing loads of histamine when they come across any form of dust, which includes the Rice grain dust and Wheat grain dust. Another of their favourite is spider cobwebs. And there are a few things which are abundant on TIFR campus e.g. Pigeon droppings (the pigeons happily venture in my room and leave their mark once in a while) and the pollen of Casuarina equisetifolia. I think these are the true culprits which have made my life difficult since the day I joined TIFR. I cannot touch rice. I am not allowed to do dusting. The bedsheets have to be changed twice every week. Avoidance is the cure in this case. And actually it is helping.

I came back to my room a little late tonight, tired and ready to crash in my bed. I was very tired after finishing small jobs of the day plus a movie outing. But I was preparing myself mentally that I will have to arrange my room a little before sleeping. Two friends stayed with me last night. Some things were shifted to make space for both of them. I know myself. I would not have been able to sleep before keeping things back at their own place. I opened the door and switched on the lights. I looked around and saw that the room was neat with hardly any sign that somebody apart from me had stayed here. The bed was shifted to its original position. The sheet was not crumpled. Pillows were in their place. It brought a smile on my face. I felt happy. They are good friends of mine but we don't meet or talk often. Most of the time we call each other only at the time of crisis, knowing that we are there for each other. There is something which complicates our relationships with 'very-...