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Till dreams do us apart...

It has been 3 long years since you left us. Memories of those years spent together, the fights, the badminton matches, or just a stroll around the colony park... I remember all of them. I remember how you looked when we first met and what wrong impression I had of you. It was only after knowing you that I understood what you actually were and why people said the opposite about you. You made an impact on me in those growing years. You were my ideal, you still are.

I remember the moments when you cried for me, sometimes with me. I knew you felt my pain. That's rare.

I remember the last time we met. You were on the way back to Hyderabad, and the train was supposed to go via Kanpur. You insisted that we come to the station to meet you. We came. The train had already arrived. And you were standing on the platform. Tall as you were, I saw you from a distance and waved. You hugged me. For the 10 minutes that we were together, your hands rested on my right shoulder, firmly. And my hand around your waist. You kept on saying that you wanted to meet us so badly, as you were beginning to forget how we looked. You looked very happy despite the emotional turmoil you were going through. You showed hope for the future. I was relieved that you still had that fighting spirit.

A month later I got an sms from you saying you have cleared a major exam and your dream will come true. I remember I was working on a presentation of mine, so I didn't reply. And then I forgot . Later that week, I learnt that you were no more. I wanted to move back in time and congratulate you for your latest achievement (your life was full of them). That's one thing which we cannot do.

The only way I have been meeting you in all these years is in my dreams. I feel like going back to sleep and be with you for longer. You look so happy and you have grown even more beautiful now. When i wake up after one of these dreams, for a few moments I forget that you are not in the same world as I am. I feel like calling you up and telling you that "Hey! I dreamt of you last night and look what you were saying...". I still have your number saved on my phone. But I deleted the last message you sent me. It used to remind me and make me feel guilty that I could not become a part of your joy, the last bit of happiness you were supposed to feel.

I am sorry for that. I know you have forgiven me. That is why you keep visiting me in my dreams. I still feel a connection with you. Please let it be this way...forever.


Shanta Laishram said…
Quite emotional but true write-up! When someone nice or special is away from you, you know his or her importance more n miss more. And if that person is no more and u forgot or couldnot say or express something which you wanted to, u feel quite guilty.... But its mortal life after all!

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