Skip to main content

Can a "Happy Single" become a part of a "Happy Couple"?


After 29 years of being alive and 11 years of living away from home I wonder whether I will be able to give up the singledom I have been enjoying so far and get married?

What does 'enjoying singledom' mean?
  • Coming back from work anytime I feel like.
  • Eating what I want to eat. If I feel like cooking I cook. If i don't feel like, I don't.
  • Doing what I want to do in spare time. Read a novel. Go for a movie. Go for a stroll. Go shopping. Or just sleep for hours.
  • Spend my money the way I want to. On myself or my loved ones.
  • Wear what I like or what I feel suits me.
  • My room is 'my space'. Once I shut the door, I am cut-off from the 'outside world'. The 'outside world' can influence 'my space' only with my permission.
  • If I feel like staying alone, I lock myself in my room for hours and days. If I don't feel like talking, I can do that.

The list can be lengthened more. In a nutshell, enjoying singledom means 'doing what I feel like, whenever I want to and whichever way I want to', so that I am responsible for everything I do. So, after doing everything as per my wish I should be a 'happy and content' person. I am not. Okay, I can call myself happy but not content. There is something else which i want. Am I actually enjoying my singledom?

I think I am living but not enjoying this singledom.

Do I need a companion for life? What if I don't get to follow any of the above listed routines after giving up my singledom? Are they actually necessary for my survival? Or am I just following that routine because I have nothing else to do? Am i just clinging to these points and building this false belief that all this is making me happy?

Being single and married are like being on two different planets, with conditions of one being exactly the opposite of the other. Can a rigid person like me stay happy under both these contrasting situations, unless I am like one of those inert gases? More or less I am fine being on this planet. When I shift base to the other planet, will I be equally happy, more happy or ......... (let's not talk negative for a while!)

There is no concept of "I" or "ME" on the other planet. I will have to leave it here and then move ahead. But from what I know about myself, these words feature a lot in my dictionary. I have become self-centered and may be I can call myself selfish at times. If this job of 'thinking about me' is taken up by somebody then I can focus on anything else. And may be then i can start 'thinking about HIM and US'.

Labels:

Comments

Anonymous said…
Don't worry dear.. think about this one... "Let him think about u and care about u, let him do things u like.....".. it will be ok.. u have enjoyed being sinle, right? now try this one out.. am telling u from my own experience, its REALLY good to be US rather than ME... give it a chance and let it blossom, i mean LOVE and MARRIAGE... I hope the US thing turns out to the best thing that happens to u eventually... loved this post though....
20 March, 2008 08:49
Nirmal said…
good post.....i guess every1 whos single love their freedom.....
tats different from being loved or loving som1....

nice reading u..
20 March, 2008 11:32
Anonymous said…
Hmm..I can totally understand what u are going thro' coz I can see myself treading the same path too! And I dont think it can be classified as selfishness...I think all these fears will vanish once you find "The person", who would enjoy doing things u love to do too..I have zero experience in finding such a person..but its just a hope that keeps me going :)
20 March, 2008 17:20
Anonymous said…
Well said Shazia. I have something to add - If someone, "The Person", like "made for each other" type exists for every single individual, why should it be from the opposite sex! Sounds stupid, but think! I believe the concept of marriage was invented just to keep the society "organised", and this concept does not take care of individual emotions, opinions, likings and disliking (if it were, at least for example, same sex marriages would have been accepted by now in most of the world!).

One may get the partner who interferes more, or interferes less in ones life. Everything is by chance after all - even our own existence!
30 March, 2008 18:08
Anonymous said…
ha ha ha...... you my friend have struck the right note here. Two different plants, yep they are!!

And yeah have no illusions, your will not be able to do anything in that 'list' of yours..... sigh. But this is life yaar and being alive means 'change'. In your own words, you may be happy but are you content? Enjoy planet A when you are there, by destiny or by design you will end up in planet B, (reluctantly) adapt to the change then smart as you are, you will learn the new ways of the new world, as we did when we moved out of 10th class, as we moved out of our parental home, as we moved from school to work........ etc etc.
11 May, 2008 03:14
Anonymous said…
oh sorry forgot.....anonymous = Arun
11 May, 2008 03:15
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A poem from childhood...

"Long legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily In the middle of Mediterranean Sea. Austria was Hungary Took a bit of Turkey Fried it in Japan Dipped it in Greece...." I remember only this much. This poem was my first attempt at learning the names of these countries and locating them on the map of the world. And I thought Austria and Australia were same. :-) It's time to confirm that I was wrong at that point of time, some twenty years back...
12 comments
Read more

Ghajini

Finally I am writing about the movie I waited for so long. It took so much time because I was searching for a decent photograph of my hero :). Of course that's not the case. First of all I managed to watch the movie on 25th itself. How that happened is a very big story which i am not going to write here but it was a big adventure in a strange city. Had i been in Bombay, I would have watched the preview on 24th. So, my record didn't break. Just that instead of first show, I saw the second show of the movie. The peak of joy was getting the tickets and then with every scene the joy diminished. :( If Aamir Khan accepts a movie, there is a certain kind of expectation from it. This one was completely disappointing. It is a complete 'masala-movie' for the regular brainless-movie-goer. Why did he do this? It is not that the Tamil version was so great that he got tempted to do the remake. No point talking about the story here. I think everybody knows this "revenge saga of a...
5 comments
Read more

I like 'Blue'

After working on my thesis (and doing some time-pass) whole night, I happened to peep out of the window and look at the striking shade of blue in the sky. I immediately looked around for my camera. It took some 90 seconds before I could click this photo and in that span of time the coloour of the sky changed a bit. Nevertheless, it is still very near to (but not exactly) the 'blue' which I like. I am neither very fond of a particular colour (except mauve and lilac) or hate a particular colour. I remember that as a child I didn't like 'yellow' at all. As I grew up, in my mind I started associating colours with different things. E.g. I like 'yellow' when it is a flower which I am looking at (and not Tata Nano or any other car). I would never wear a bright-yellow dress, but that doesn't mean I don't like the colour. Similarly, I love certain shades of 'blue' which look best in a sky or in a water body. Looking at any of my favourite colours (or...
5 comments
Read more