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Can a "Happy Single" become a part of a "Happy Couple"?


After 29 years of being alive and 11 years of living away from home I wonder whether I will be able to give up the singledom I have been enjoying so far and get married?

What does 'enjoying singledom' mean?
  • Coming back from work anytime I feel like.
  • Eating what I want to eat. If I feel like cooking I cook. If i don't feel like, I don't.
  • Doing what I want to do in spare time. Read a novel. Go for a movie. Go for a stroll. Go shopping. Or just sleep for hours.
  • Spend my money the way I want to. On myself or my loved ones.
  • Wear what I like or what I feel suits me.
  • My room is 'my space'. Once I shut the door, I am cut-off from the 'outside world'. The 'outside world' can influence 'my space' only with my permission.
  • If I feel like staying alone, I lock myself in my room for hours and days. If I don't feel like talking, I can do that.

The list can be lengthened more. In a nutshell, enjoying singledom means 'doing what I feel like, whenever I want to and whichever way I want to', so that I am responsible for everything I do. So, after doing everything as per my wish I should be a 'happy and content' person. I am not. Okay, I can call myself happy but not content. There is something else which i want. Am I actually enjoying my singledom?

I think I am living but not enjoying this singledom.

Do I need a companion for life? What if I don't get to follow any of the above listed routines after giving up my singledom? Are they actually necessary for my survival? Or am I just following that routine because I have nothing else to do? Am i just clinging to these points and building this false belief that all this is making me happy?

Being single and married are like being on two different planets, with conditions of one being exactly the opposite of the other. Can a rigid person like me stay happy under both these contrasting situations, unless I am like one of those inert gases? More or less I am fine being on this planet. When I shift base to the other planet, will I be equally happy, more happy or ......... (let's not talk negative for a while!)

There is no concept of "I" or "ME" on the other planet. I will have to leave it here and then move ahead. But from what I know about myself, these words feature a lot in my dictionary. I have become self-centered and may be I can call myself selfish at times. If this job of 'thinking about me' is taken up by somebody then I can focus on anything else. And may be then i can start 'thinking about HIM and US'.

Comments

Shilpy said…
Don't worry dear.. think about this one... "Let him think about u and care about u, let him do things u like.....".. it will be ok.. u have enjoyed being sinle, right? now try this one out.. am telling u from my own experience, its REALLY good to be US rather than ME... give it a chance and let it blossom, i mean LOVE and MARRIAGE... I hope the US thing turns out to the best thing that happens to u eventually... loved this post though....
Nirmal's Blog said…
good post.....i guess every1 whos single love their freedom.....
tats different from being loved or loving som1....

nice reading u..
fellow saggi said…
Hmm..I can totally understand what u are going thro' coz I can see myself treading the same path too! And I dont think it can be classified as selfishness...I think all these fears will vanish once you find "The person", who would enjoy doing things u love to do too..I have zero experience in finding such a person..but its just a hope that keeps me going :)
Amit said…
Well said Shazia. I have something to add - If someone, "The Person", like "made for each other" type exists for every single individual, why should it be from the opposite sex! Sounds stupid, but think! I believe the concept of marriage was invented just to keep the society "organised", and this concept does not take care of individual emotions, opinions, likings and disliking (if it were, at least for example, same sex marriages would have been accepted by now in most of the world!).

One may get the partner who interferes more, or interferes less in ones life. Everything is by chance after all - even our own existence!
Anonymous said…
ha ha ha...... you my friend have struck the right note here. Two different plants, yep they are!!

And yeah have no illusions, your will not be able to do anything in that 'list' of yours..... sigh. But this is life yaar and being alive means 'change'. In your own words, you may be happy but are you content? Enjoy planet A when you are there, by destiny or by design you will end up in planet B, (reluctantly) adapt to the change then smart as you are, you will learn the new ways of the new world, as we did when we moved out of 10th class, as we moved out of our parental home, as we moved from school to work........ etc etc.
Anonymous said…
oh sorry forgot.....anonymous = Arun

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