Fever, sweat, pain, a melting nose and to add to my misery...crumpled sheet and a dirty disorganised room.
One whole week was spent in this condition. Most of the time i kept myself confined to my room with occasional post-dinner trips to lab. No experiments. Mice dying before i could kill them. Poor trainee calling me at various hours with genuine questions. Absolutely nothing was happening. Just sleep and dream.
The period between two episodes of fever was when i sat reading 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini. By the time i reached the middle of the book i felt emotionally exhausted. Never before a book has moved me to this extent. I wept till my eyes ached.
It's a story of two boys who spent their childhood together in pre-taliban Afghanistan. Of their friendship which had different meaning for both of them. Of the caste divide between them. Of blind love and trust of Hassan and of Amir's envy. Of lack of courage to stand for someone who loves you more than anything else. Of guilt that fills the heart and doesn't find a way out. And finally the redemption.
Can anything be worse than the guilt that you were responsible for turning somebody's life from good to bad or bad to worse? Though the damage cannot be undone, the realization itself that you have wronged somebody is the first step towards asking for forgiveness. But is that sufficient? Does this realization wash away the sin? No.
It takes a lot of courage to accept that you were wrong. Lucky are those who get an appropriate chance to undo their sins. In this book, two different characters adopt two different paths to free themselves of their guilt. However, none of them got a chance to ask for forgiveness from the same person (or persons) they betrayed.
"For you a thousand times over."
Hassan to Amir
"I wasn't such a good friend, I'm afraid."
Amir to Sohrab