Skip to main content

Idiosyncratic me

Avoiding people when I am in a bad mood is not a new phenomenon for me. I have been doing this for quite sometime. I can feel that it is worsening and my tolerance for people is decreasing. At such moments I just try to stay alone. I don't want to get irritated and scream at people just because I am not in the best mood.


These days, I would say that I am in a contemplative mood and not actually in a bad mood. Too many things on my mind and then there is a major presentation to give in 2 weeks. So, I am just trying to keep myself away from anything which might irritate me.



I was just thinking that with every passing day I am becoming less and less adaptable. I mean I am living alone and have become accustomed to this situation. I don't have any other responsibility apart from my own. I make my own plans. If one of my experiment is coming in the way of an outing, i just manipulate my work somehow and take time out for the outing. Nobody is there who can ask me to change my plans according to him/her. I don't need another living being to go shopping for anything under the sun. I go for movies and plays alone. I have gone out for dinner alone. I don't mind roaming on the streets alone.



Because of all this I find it very difficult when at rare occassions I have to change my plan because of anybody else. I know it is bad in the long run. Can't help...



However, owing to the selfish human nature, I often crave for another person by my side when I am in self-doubt, when I am stressed, when I am sad... But that person cannot be just anybody. I feel the need of a special person then... A friend cannot take that place.

Comments

Koffee beanzz said…
Saggi..dun worry..u are not alone in this thought and experience..There are people like me too :)
SagittalSection said…
Yes dear...I know you are sailing in the same boat. And I know that you can completely understand what I am feeling.

Popular posts from this blog

A poem from childhood...

"Long legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily
In the middle of Mediterranean Sea.
Austria was Hungary
Took a bit of Turkey
Fried it in Japan
Dipped it in Greece...."

I remember only this much. This poem was my first attempt at learning the names of these countries and locating them on the map of the world. And I thought Austria and Australia were same. :-)

It's time to confirm that I was wrong at that point of time, some twenty years back...

Healing and conquering myself, one tiny step at a time

"It is not the mountains we conquer but ourselves."
-Edmund Hillary
Two years back, when I had set out on my first trek in the Himalayas, I did not know what I was getting into. It began as a quest, a search for the place that I was dreaming about for the last few years. Valley of Flowers in Uttarakhand did turn out to be straight out of my dream and I still cannot believe it. I remember sitting on that large asymmetrical rock for more than an hour, looking at the snow-clad mountains and scribbling in my diary as the cool wind blew in my face and the sun tried its best to warm my fingers. 
Less than a year later, I went back to the mountains and it was then that I realized that I was meant to go back, not once or twice or thrice, I just have to be there every once in a while. May be that recurring dream had a bigger purpose than calling me to the Valley of Flowers. May be someone up there knew that it was just a beginning. And now that it has started, it shall go on till my…

This 'Barfi' is sweetest of all

After a long time comes a movie that makes you laugh and cry at the same time. One cannot stay unmoved by the love and spirit of two people who suffer from hearing and speech impairment and autism. But it doesn't come in the way of identifying their individuality and their likes and dislikes. Neither does it prevent us from empathizing with their feelings.


The story begins with an ailing Barfi (Ranbir Kapoor) and a bunch of people sharing their memories of him and reminiscing about the past. We are introduced to the prankster who knew no boundaries when it came to creating trouble. The local policeman (Saurabh Shukla) was one of the main targets of all the pranks whenever he went chasing him. Barfi was too smart to be caught for any of his crimes. Things change when Barfi gets involved in a kidnapping and a bank robbery. The story of Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra), who was kidnapped by Barfi, then unfolds. Barfi and Jhilmil go through a lot of ups and downs. The initial mistrust is ta…