Dil hai to dhadakne ka bahaana koi
dhoonde,
Patthar ki tarah behis-o-bejaan sa kyun
hai...
Kya koi nayi baat nazar aati hai hum mein,
Aaina humein dekh kar hairaan sa kyun
hai...
Seene mein jalan, aankhon mein toofan sa kyun
hai.
Don't know what is happening to me. Whole of last week I hardly did anything constructive. Oh yes, I spent some time in analysing the data on wednesday and thursday. And on friday i did finish the sketch i had been making since past few days. But still I dont feel enthusiasm in myself. Or may be I have been like this forever. And since I am required to be 'highly motivated' and 'competent' at this juncture of life, I am realizing my own shortcomings. Or may be I am not enthusiastic about the current work and current state of my life. The present is full of disappointments and depression. And there is hardly anything to look forward to.
Its high time that I become my own inspiration. How long can one wait for an "external source of inspiration"? Its my life and I am responsible for it. I have to do it myself. I have to be strong and move ahead. Life is a series of lessons preparing you for more lessons. Just like a game, the difficulty level goes on increasing and you win extra 'lives/chances' when you perform well.
I have not been performing well but somehow I have been able to get the passing-marks. I hope to survive till the end of the game. And for that I have to concentrate on the game... Already the difficulty level is testing my endurance. And I am sure there is a surprise-prize for me somewhere before I reach the end. May be I am nearing it...I can't stop now. I won't.
"Long legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily In the middle of Mediterranean Sea. Austria was Hungary Took a bit of Turkey Fried it in Japan Dipped it in Greece...." I remember only this much. This poem was my first attempt at learning the names of these countries and locating them on the map of the world. And I thought Austria and Australia were same. :-) It's time to confirm that I was wrong at that point of time, some twenty years back...
Comments
और एक कविता याद आती है; जो शायद आपका उत्साह वापस ला सके -
"
सृजन की थकन भूल जा देवता!
अभी तो पड़ी है धरा अधबनी
अभी तो पलक में नहीं खिल सकी
नवल कल्पना की मृदुल चाँदनी
अभी अधखिली ज्योत्स्ना की कली
नहीं जिन्दगी की सुरभि में सनी!
......................
......................
......................
प्रलय से निराशा तुझे हो गयी
सिसकती हुई साँस की जालियों में
सबल प्राण की अर्चना खो गयी
थके बाहुओं में अधूरी प्रलय
औ' अधूरी सृजन-योजना सो गयी
थकन से निराशा तुझे हो गयी?
इसी ध्वंस में मूर्छिता-सी कहीं
पड़ी हो नई जिन्दगी, क्या पता?
सृजन की थकन भूल जा देवता!
"
(धर्मवीर भारती)
Thanks for your comment. I didn't know you still read my blog. How's life?
@ Koffee Beanzz
Don't know whether it is the stars to blame. But something does connect both of us. Will write a 'happy' post now and cheer you up.
@ Amit
Shukria humaara blog padhne ke liye. Kavita bahot achchi hai. Main koshish kar rahi hoon ki thesis likhne ke baad hi aaraam karoon.
@ Aditya
Mere blog-readers ka mazaak mat udao. Nahi to bahot bura hoga....
Ab aur kya kahein; alias karke aapki taareef likh hi di hai.
@ Shazia:
Writing so much on your blog and saying you are motivation-less! JBKK (K stands for kauwa; rest you decode).
Ab aur kya kahein; alias karke aapki taareef likh hi di hai.
@ Shazia:
Writing so much on your blog and saying you are motivation-less! JBKK (first K stands for kauwa; rest you decode).
At least i still have this enthusiasm of creating something or writing on my blog.