Skip to main content

I am no more...

It was still dark outside, I noticed. I shut my eyes once again and went back to sleep and before I realized, reality lost the race to imagination. I became a part of a dream.

I was flying through an unknown land. No living being was in view. After flying for a long time, the length of which I am unaware of, a thought struck me "Why was I flying?" I am supposed to be walking or running or even swimming. How can I fly?

I looked at my limbs and found that there were wings instead. I looked at my body. It was scaly with different hues to it. It gleamed when the sunlight fell on it. If I would have seen a creature having these attributes I would have been astonished by its beauty. But the thought that I have turned into a strange creature scared me.

I started flying, this time with an aim--- To find somebody who knows me and ask him/her why such a thing happened to me. I flew...

Finally I reached a place which looked like my home. I made an effort to call out my Mom, Dad and my friends in the neighbourhood. What came out of my mouth was an unfamiliar squeal. I have lost my voice too.

Just when I was wondering at this sudden change in me, I flew past a mirror and saw that I had transformed into a completely different creature. There is no way by which I can make my presence felt to my loved ones. They do not know this new face which belongs to me. I am far away from their world---"my world".

I heard a sound and woke up. I was not in my room but in a strange land.

It was not a dream. The realization started to sink in.

Once again I started to fly. I stopped only when I saw some creatures which look somewhat similar to me. I tried to join their flock. They did not seem to matter. But it seemed odd to me. I am not one of them, I just look like one of them.

It is not fair. I cannot be compelled to turn into a totally different creature one day and in turn get alienated from my closest pals.

Am i the same individual that i was? Or, am i no more?

Picture courtesy:


digant sutar said…
wen i stared reading ur this post i didn`t wat was i up to,bt wen i ended it wat i found is `Words to my feelings` that i never found, cas colors r more friendly to me than words.
i think every artist go through same feelings.
i m still to go through all ur work..
for now wat i can say is
keep it up
take care
Anonymous said…
check ur yahoo mail :-)
Amit said…
I am not sure if you are no more, but if that is the case then I have the proof of the following:

(i) Heaven(H1)and Hell(H2), at least one of them exists!

(ii) If exactly one of H1 and H2 exists in (i) then internet works there.

(iii) If both H1 and H2 exist in (i) then at least one of them has internet connection.

Proof: Let E denote the earth and S denote THE Shazia. The assumption that S is no more implies that S does not belong to E. Since the universal set is the union of E, H1, H2 and S does not belong to E, we conclude that S belongs to the union of H1 and H2. Wherever she belongs exists and internet connection works there because she could write a blog post from there!

Princess Fiona said…
..thus spake the mathematician :D

I am convinced by Amit's arguments. He has shown conclusively that u cannot be 'no more'. U better convince urself now.
Humane said…
Hey, your writings remind me of Paulo Coelho. Very impressive; you can be a great fable writer as well!

Having got the message I would like to ask: "Does this message provide you salvation or solution?" I think it makes you a captive of your imagination, which in itself is a slave of freedom. So, the bottom line is nothing is free, after all, not even your thoughts.

Let's be close to Somebody Who is Limitless!
Shazia said…
@ Digant and Humane
Thanks for the appreciation.

@ Amit
Baap re! Kya proof diya hai. Chalo hum ne maan liya ki hum abhi zinda hain aur earth par hi hain :-)

@ Fiona
Dekha mathematicians se dosti karne se kya hota hai?

Popular posts from this blog

A poem from childhood...

"Long legged Italy, kicked poor Sicily
In the middle of Mediterranean Sea.
Austria was Hungary
Took a bit of Turkey
Fried it in Japan
Dipped it in Greece...."

I remember only this much. This poem was my first attempt at learning the names of these countries and locating them on the map of the world. And I thought Austria and Australia were same. :-)

It's time to confirm that I was wrong at that point of time, some twenty years back...

Something has changed

I was talking to this friend after a long time and the first two questions he asked me were, 'What movie did you watch last weekend?' and 'Where are you traveling to next?'. I refused to answer his questions till he first asked me how I was. We laughed and he said that he keeps seeing my updates on movies and travel and wonders when he will find time to do that.

I have always loved to travel. I remember once my parents asked my brother and me to make a wishlist of things that we wanted. I had added 'Trip to Delhi' to that list. Then came a time when all the focus was on board exams and competitive exams, and the joy of traveling was forgotten because it mostly meant going to a new city to give some exam. 
It all restarted once I came to Mumbai, 13 years back. Before I landed in this city I had turned into a shy, timid girl whose friends used to help her cross the road and get a rickshaw for her so that she doesn't have to talk to the rickshaw-wala. I can&#…

Taare Zameen Par

Saw the first show of Taare Zameen Par yesterday. A beautiful movie. A must watch for all. The movie deals with an issue 'less-explored'-- needs of a child.

What does "taking care of a child" mean? Putting your child in the best school available. Spending money on tutions, swimming classes, dance classes, and what not. Getting them the best designer wear available. Chocolates, video games, picnics...

TZP tries to define "taking care" which is very different from what is percieved by most adults.

A child who is too young to understand why he is not like other normal children of his age goes through a rough time both at home and school. Then there are constant comparisons with a sibling, who incidentally is a topper and is 'fit to compete in today's world'. He just gives up trying and gets lost within himself. Ishaan was lucky enough to get noticed by a teacher who understands his special needs. How many other children would find similar support? Wha…